What we hate most about flying: fat people

Lastminute.com has conducted a survey:  What do you hate most about flying?

The results are as follows:

1. Neighbours using too much space.  Really?  A little argy-bargy over who gets the arm rest …. is the worst thing about flying?  Surveyed people, your airtime must be enviably trouble free.  Or is this something more sinister?  By ‘using too much space’ do you perhaps mean FAT?        

2. Screaming children. Once you’ve had children of your own, the sound of anyone else’s screamers is sweet music.  You pity the parents, give thanks they are not you, and feel immensely proud of your own parenting skills.      

3. Drunken passengers.  Drunken?  Chance would be a fine thing.   Alcohol now dispensed once per flight with a thimble.

4. Loud conversations. Hateful, I agree, but this is not peculiar to flying.  It’s just as bad on the tube.  

5. Passengers listening to loud music.  Put the head phones on, listen to some music.  That’s what they are for.    

6. Passengers eating noisily/messily.  There seems to be a theme here: overdeveloped sensitivity to sound. Try to be a little more tolerant, or get earplugs.  

7. Snoring passengers. Guilty as charged (after trying hard to get drunken, wrestling noisily with the sealed packet of plastic cutlery and spilling my drink when the selfish bastard in front pushes his seat back).

8. Applauding after landing. Complaining about this reflects badly on you. It lasts about 10 seconds.   

9. Chatty neighbours. Easily silenced. Close your eyes and to emphasise the point start snoring. If that doesn’t work, try coughing and ask your chatty neighbour if he has a spare paper bag.  He will soon find somewhere else to sit.   

10. Flirtatious neighbours. Oh yes, don’t you just hate being so damned attractive?    

 flight

                                        ‘I say Mateus, you say Matoose …’ 

 

Here is a list of things I hate about flying.

Airlines

Airports

Aeroplanes.

 

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